Yes, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. And I'm okay with that. ;) But this I just couldn't pass up... What is UP with the school supply lists now? I went to Target with Kaden and felt like I was on a damn scavenger hunt for this weird stuff. And yes, we had to go to a second store too. (At least it wasn't four like the lady below...) Twistable crayons? Whatever happened to the regular crayons? You know, the ones that don't cost $5 per box, the ones that smell like back to school, the ones that we all know and love. NO, I couldn't get THOSE for my child, they are just not good enough right? I had to get plastic twistable crayons. And THEN the other mothers were buying the regular ones, but because your kid doesn't get to keep what he actually brought, it leaves me wondering if Kaden is going to enjoy those expensive damn crayons that I brought, or if some other kid is going to get them while Kaden gets the regular ones. WHY did I pay $5 for those?! And wipes? Seriously? And then you wonder what kind of wipes. Baby wipes? Anti-bacterial wipes?

Which brings to me to another point. Swine flu is all over the schools here right now. Which leads some people to use the Purell gel and other anti-bacterial products. Okay, whatever. But daycares can't use that stuff. Other kiddo places aren't allowed to use it - THERE ARE REASONS people, which I won't go into here. So WHY is it on the SCHOOL SUPPLY LIST at a public elementary school? Yes, I use it every once in awhile, but whatever happened to good old fashioned SOAP and WATER?

Okay I digress, read this, it made me laugh REALLY hard!

Dear Mrs. X:

In just over a week, you will be my son’s Grade 1 teacher. He is ever so excited to be under your tutelage. Why, since the last day of kindergarten, entering your class was all he could talk about. He gleefully thrust a piece of paper into my hand on that June afternoon, and said, “Here’s a list of the stuff I need for school next September!”

And I have to admit, I, too, was excited. I’m a school supplies geek from way back. And so, in early August, I set out to buy the items you’d listed.

It was on my fourth store that the realization began to sink in.

You’re a crafty bitch, aren’t you?

This list was a thinly disguised test. Could I find the items, exactly as you’d prescribed? Because if not, my son would be That Kid, the one with the Problem Mother, Who Can’t Follow Directions.

For example, the glue sticks you requested. In the 40 gram size. Three of the little buggers. (What kind of massive, sticky project you’ve got planned for the first day of school that would require the students to bring all this glue, I cannot imagine.) But the 40 gram size doesn’t come in a convenient 3-pack. The /30 /gram size does. But clearly, those would be wildly inappropriate. So I got the individually priced 40’s, as per your instructions.

Another bit of fun was your request for 2 packs of 8 Crayola crayons (basic colors). The 24 packs, with their 24 /different /colors, sat there, on sale. I could have purchased /three/ of the 24 packs for the price I had to pay for the 8 packs. (Clearly, you’ll not be teaching the youngsters any sort of economics lessons this year.) Even the cashier looked at me, as if to say, “Pardon me, ma’am, but are you slow?” as I purchased these non-bargain crayons. But that’s what the list said. And I was committed to following the list.

But the last item, well, now, you saved your malice up for that one, didn’t you? “8 mm ruled notebooks”, you asked for. Simple enough. Except the standard size is /seven /millimetres. One. Millimetre. Difference. Do you realize, Mrs. X., exactly how infinitesimal the difference between 7 mm ruling and 8 mm ruling is? Pretty small, I assure you. The thickness of a fingernail, approximately. But that millimetre, that small bit of nothingness, made me drive to four different stores, over the course of three sweaty August hours. And when I finally, finally found the last remaining 8 mm notebooks, I took no pleasure in my victory. I merely shifted my focus. To you, Mrs. X.

You wanna dance, lady? Let’s dance.

Because I am just batshit crazy enough to play your games. And, in turn, come up with some of my own.

On show and share day, my son will be bringing the video of his birth. It will be labelled, “Ben’s First Puppy.” Enjoy.

He will be given a list of words, and daily, he will ask you what they mean. Words such as, “pedophile”, “anti-semite”, and “skank”. Good luck with those.

At some point, you will attempt to teach him mathematics. And I’m quite sure that, like most of your ilk, you will require my son to “show his work”. And he will.

Through interpretive dance.

Because that is who you’ve chosen to tangle with, toots. A stay at home mom who is not entirely balanced, and has altogether too much time on her hands. But is, most certainly, A Mother Who Can Follow Directions.

Sincerely,

Ginny

BTW that email is from Emails From Crazy People. Hilarious site!

This happened a couple of weeks ago but I've been so busy I haven't shared! Have to put it somewhere... ;)

We went to the spray park and a kid sprayed me with a water gun. Now usually I don't really care about stuff like that, I just brush it off, but he got my camera. Which of course, did NOT make me very happy. I didn't say much, just "NOT cool, go away." He went away, scared of what I might do I suppose. He knew he hit my camera and his face went about white when I gasped and looked at him. Kaden of course wanted to know WHY he shot me, and I told him that it was probably an accident.

So ten minutes later, I noticed that Kaden was talking to the kid and it didn't look like a jovial conversation. I watched him poke the kid in the shoulder, the little push thing that people do when they're provoking someone... and I walked over. I could then hear what he was saying... "WHY did you shoot my Mommy with your gun? That wasn't very nice, I didn't like it!"



LOL my little protector... I called him over and of course explained that we can't just push people, but I felt kinda bad because he was confused. He said "but I wanted to know why he did that to you." So sweet...

My sweetpea!

I was tagged so here it is.

TODAY
July 10, 2009

Outside my window... It is dark and still smells like the rain that has passed.

I am thinking... about how the spider I just killed probably has buddies that are looking at his legs dangling in the wind and plotting their revenge while I sleep.

I am thankful for... my son and the blessing of being a mother.

From the kitchen... cereal this morning, but we dressed like cows and went to Chick-Fil-A for the free food tonight.

I am wearing... panties and a t-shirt.

I am creating... my ever-growing portfolio.

I am going... hopefully get to bed before 2am tonight.

I am reading... several photography books.

I am hoping... for some clarity on certain subjects. For confidence in other subjects.

I am hearing... Must Love Dogs is on, I've never seen it. LOL her sister just asked her "where are your boob shirts?" She's dating again for the first time, it's cracking me up! OH. MY. GOSH. She's going on an internet date with her own father, she answered his personal ad!! How embarassing! Anyway moving on...

Around the house... I cleaned the kitchen before I left and came back to a disaster. Funny how that happens when I'm not here, even though I'm the one that trashes the house right?

One of my favorite things... my camera.

A few plans for the rest of the week... a maternity shoot, picnics, swimming, possible hiking tomorrow.

Okay this story is just too good to pass up. So I will type it out to you my blog world, while Kaden is in the shower.

Let me preface this by saying that the toilet seat is an ongoing reminder in our home. I remind him every once in awhile but I don't really harp on him about it because right now I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak. Such as ya know, reading, writing, being nice to people, etc.

SO I was enjoying a beautiful Wednesday morning, despite somehow hurting my neck, in a nice warm shower. Relaxing, washing my hair, brushing my teeth... and the usual routine is that when I brush my teeth I call Kaden in to brush his teeth too. He's used to it and listens for it, and today was no exception.

So I called him in to brush his teeth, he put his toothpaste on his toothbrush and started brushing. Keep in mind that he was in his IronMan costume, complete with helmet and protective goggles because he had been playing soldier. Apparently he wanted to sit down and brush, so he went to sit down on the toilet. And because when he went potty last he left the seat and lid up on the toilet, he sat directly into the water. Not just a gentle sit to remind him that the seat wasn't there (ladies you all know what I'm talking about) but a full force PLOP because as a little boy he can't do anything gently, he has to bang everything and throw himself down instead of sitting down.

He was SO upset. Screaming bloody murder upset. Angry at the world and how dare someone do this to him upset. He was PISSED off. (And on - HA!) I had to close the shower door to keep him from seeing my smile, because that would have compounded things even more.

I gently reminded him that HE was the one that left the seat up, so if he was going to be angry, he needed to be upset with himself and learn from it. He then of course couldn't possibly get his costume off because it was ruined and stuck to his body, and because the world doesn't have enough drama already, he pulled at the arms trying to show me how stuck it really was. I helped him take it off and he is now in the shower.

I had to write this story somewhere because A. it's funny and I figured someone out there could use a hump day laugh and B. it will be a story to retell over and over again to remind him to put the damn seat down. And lid. Maybe one day when he's married he will remember this day... and his IronMan costume ALL wet in the back. I would have taken pictures but I was all wet (from the shower, not the toilet) and he would have been even MORE upset if he saw the camera come out. So for this story words will have to suffice.

Happy Wednesday!

I follow quite a few blogs with my RSS reader, and one of them is the blog of Pastor Ryan. Honestly, I don't really know who he is. I don't know what church he's the pastor of, where he lives, or any of that basic information. I do know that he loves to cook, is passionate about his family and about God. Not a bad combination right ladies? ;) Sorry, he's taken!

I really like a lot of what he has to say, and lately he's been writing about true community. Community means a lot to me, and it's the number one "thing" for me in a church. I can listen to sermons online. I can watch sermons on TV. To me, a church should be a second home - somewhere that you feel welcome, where friendships are built, where accountability stems from those friendships, and families can thrive. A place where people can volunteer and reach out to those in need, and when they need someone, can turn to for whatever help they may need.

Ryan asked some important questions on his website recently, some things that I've been thinking about. He talks about Facebook and surface-level relationships, and that for some people those relationships may be okay.

At the end of the message I threw out a few questions and some possible starting points.
I’ll share those with you here as well:

1. Am I okay with having surface-level relationships with everyone?
2. Outside of my family, who can I really trust?
3. Do I have people in my life that I can call at 3am when everything is falling apart?
4. Are there people around me who can strengthen me when I’m weak?
5. Am I using my God-given gifts, talents, or abilities to serve my friends?
6. Am I investing MORE or LESS into the relationship than the person I’m trying to build a relationship with?

Steps towards authentic community:

1. Choose wisely. You don’t need to be friends with everyone.
2. Get coffee, have someone over for dinner, go play golf, etc..
3. Be intentional. Ask a deeper question // reciprocate.
4. Work at it. Don’t assume a relationship is fine.
5. Be transparent and authentic yourself.

I've been thinking about a lot of these things lately. When my life fell apart almost three years ago, my friends from church were the first to scatter - how sad. I don't hold that against my faith, I don't fault God, I'm not angry about it, but it makes me really sad to think that the friends that I had trusted and built a relationship with in church were the first to desert me entirely. Even antagonize me and say extremely hurtful things.

It is really, REALLY important to me to be a good friend. Obviously, my family is important to me, but the friendships and the bonds that you build with people outside your blood relatives are truly your chosen family. People change, friendships change, and not everyone is going to be friends all the time. People leave your life for a reason, and come into your life for a reason, but ultimately I want to make sure that I'm a good friend whenever I can be.

It has been my secret (hehe not so secret anymore right?) goal to try to leave anyone I come in contact with feeling better about themselves, their day, or anything. To leave them with a positive feeling, whether it's smiling at someone in the grocery store, or helping someone. I have bad days, everyone does. But that is my goal, that is what I want to teach Kaden, and because of that, I think of the things on that list a LOT.

A quick note and disclaimer - I know that I'm not perfect, that I don't do this all the time. I fall into the same traps that everyone else falls into, but I really do try. That's all anyone can do right?

Just some thoughts, I read that on Ryan's website and really liked the questions. Today has been an emotional day, I'm tired and liked it, so there you have it!

Have a great week!

Lately I've been trying to learn lots. I've been bored to death after Kaden goes to sleep, and while I love Sex And The City reruns, they can only go so far. Especially when they're censored to within an inch of death!

So anywho, I've been reading a lot and watching tutorials to learn new things. Tonight my focus has been Photoshop, although I've been going back and forth. I kind of have ADD with things sometimes. I started reading a photography book and then saw something in Photoshop so had to look that up, then found another tutorial about something else that I had to watch, then learned something else and had to look something else up... you know how it is. So my intended photography learning session has turned into a multi-faceted evening!

Here are the fruits of my learning. Yes, I know that lots of you probably already know how to do this stuff, but I'm excited because I've never done it before and I'm THRILLED with the results!

So here's the picture, SOOC. (Acronym for straight out of camera... with me still?) No edits, other than resizing for web. Nice cloud shot, taken before the game started. Kind of a nice picture if I do say so myself, although for this lesson I wanted a sky shot, and I don't really have many to choose from. I prefer to shoot people. Okay that doesn't sound good - I meant with my camera you sickos!


After reading my badass stuff and playing around a bit, here's the picture, edited to make the sky and clouds POP.


What do you think?

I could of course edit the sky to be as dark or light as I want, but I love the darker sky because of the contrast between the sky and the clouds. You can also see some of the clouds that were hard to see to begin with.

Are you just so proud of me!? I'm proud of myself! :D

Happy Tuesday!